After splashing cold water on my face, I wondered how difficult the first day of sobriety was going to be. Not only that, when I took my shirt off, I looked pregnant. I looked like a retired punching bag-killing myself slowly every night was taking its toll. The next morning with bloodshot eyes raised at half staff, I stared at my beat-up reflection in the mirror. From now on there will be total organization. There will be no more pills, no more bad food, no more destroyers of my body. From now on there will be 50 pushups each morning, 50 pull ups. Wearing a Marine Corps shirt while doing pushups and sit-ups in his apartment, Travis Bickle narrates, “I gotta get in shape. I was watching Taxi Driver, pressing the rewind button over and over again, replaying the same scene. With a half empty bottle of cheap wine in one hand (my third of the evening) and a DVD remote in the other, I sat on the sofa-eyes glazed over-numb.
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